Sunday, November 27, 2011
HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a University of
The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it
with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets
to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that
exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are,
we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now,
we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take
into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two
must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Thursday, November 3, 2011
A couple weeks ago I took out the original Battlestar Galactica from the library, I hadn't seen it in a good 30+ years (not since it was on tv) and I wanted to see if it held up to my memories. It did, I remembered loving it and I still do. When I heard about the new series on sci-fi a few years ago, I was dead set against it. I instantly hated it just for the fact that it was a remake of my beloved old show (especially when you think of all the bad remakes hollywood has shoved down our throats in recent years, it's not hard to believe I'd have an instant dislike to something I hadn't seen). I didn't have sci-fi so it wasn't an issue, I could easily avoid it. However last year I finally got sci-fi and now have access to new shows. Although so far I haven't tuned into any of them. The only science fiction I watch these days is Doctor Who, still enjoy that one and really hope we've seen the last of the adventures of Amy Pond guest starring the Doctor.
Getting back to Battlestar Galactica though.... The other day while watching an episode of the original series I found myself curious about the new one. So I decided to take it out from the library and see what it was all about. After doing some research online, I found the new Battlestar Galactica started out as a mini-series then was made into a full blown series. I was going to watch it online but couldn't find the mini-series online. So I asked some folks on etsy and was told that the mini was packaged with season 1 of the new Galactica series. Ok that's not how other shows have done it, so it's understandable that I couldn't find it. Well I changed my mind about watching the new Battlestar Galactica online and decided to just take the dvds out from the library. Today when I returned the original Battlestar Galactica to the library, I decided to see if the new series was in. I picked up the discs and shuffled through them, found all of season one except the first disc. After searching more I found it, it was mixed in with season two. So I grabbed all of season one and checked out.
After I ate dinner I went into the basement (some time after 6) and popped the mini series into the dvd player. I've watched most of it as of 9 PM tonight and so far it's interesting, for lack of a better word. I found the pace to be a bit slow and was disappointed that the Cylons used nukes instead of simply flying down to shoot Caprica like they did in the classic series. It was interesting seeing Jamie Bamber as Apollo but I could easily hear his American accent slip in places. Of course as a fan of the original Battlestar Galactica and since I had just watched the final episode yesterday, I have to say it's a bit odd seeing how they cast the classic characters. I'm having trouble seeing women cast in the roles of Starbuck and Boomer, I never did pick up/out who Jolly was. I heard the name mentioned but I never actually saw the actor. Then again I was cutting fabric while watching this so that might explain why I never spotted Jolly.
What bothered me was the falling out between Adama and Apollo, it seemed like the writers went with the typical conflict between father and son route that is common with so many shows and movies these days. Really? Couldn't we have had the old relationship? Also Starbuck dating Zack was a bit odd, not to mention seeing her smoke a cigar when they were playing Triangle (was it?) and Tigh being there playing with them. The cigar felt forced to me, like they were trying to show it's a female Dirk Benedict instead of either casting a man for the part or just forgoing the stogie. I can't help but wonder how this Starbuck will play out as the series pans out. The original Starbuck was a some what womanizer, until he started dating Cassiopeia and then fell in love with her. The new Starbuck is dealing with the death of her boyfriend, Zack who was Apollo's brother.
Baltar is another one that's bothering me, he's this scientific genius but he's almost more of a sniveling coward instead of the man that stood against the colonies (like in the original series) and stood next to the Cylons as they attacked Caprica. Speaking of the Cylons, Six was getting on my nerves during the scene on the bridge of the Galactica. I know only Batar could see her but it was a bit much constantly seeing her there every time we saw Baltar. Oh and the sex scenes in the beginning of the mini-series were a bit much as well. I really don't need to see anyone having sex, but especially Baltar and a human form Cylon. And that extreme closeup of the mouth as they kissed was too much also.
I did like seeing things from the original series, like the old Vipers and the old Cylons but was disappointed that the only Cylons we heard talking were the two human ones. We also only saw the two other Cylons once so far. This is supposed to set up the story of how the colonies left their planets and went in search of Earth yet so far we've seen more sex and conversations than we've seen anything else. There's hardly any Viper action so far, we certainly didn't see any guns blazing until later in the mini-series (I've only seen about 3 hours of it so far) where as the original series we saw all the action up front, and the personal life story lines were more sub plots.
I still have plenty to watch with the new Battlestar Galactica, so we'll see if I decide one way or the other about fully liking it. As a stand alone sci-fi it's good, but I'm having a hard time disconnecting myself from it as an original fan. Kind of like the fans of classic Trek were with STTNG and the following series.